Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Trix are for stoners

So I was up late reading last night (I decided to re-read the entire series before I start on the newest book) when the hungries struck.

So, like any twenty-something year old awake at one in the morning, I poked through the kitchen looking for a post-midnight snack. We had a fair amount of food in the house: yogurt, tea, cheese, chips, but nothing that really called out to my tastebuds. And then I found the Trix.

We all remember Trix, right? That sugary cereal that pretended it was made with real fruit and vitamins so our parents would buy it. Well, your parents, maybe. I grew up on Kix, Kashi, and Raisin Bran. I vaguely remember having Coco Pebbles every once in a while. If I ever got my hands on Corn Pops as I child I was in freaking heaven. It was, as my father is so fond of saying, "like watching a heroin addict get their first fix." I still think Kix and Raisin Bran are pretty good but I hate Kashi. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaate it. And my mom spent my entire childhood trying to convince me it tasted good. Bleck.

I don't actually eat a lot of sugary cereal as a grown up, despite having been denied it as a little kid. When I do eat cereal it's either Special K or regular Cheerios--not the honey nut kind. Every once in a while when I'm dying for a fix I'll get a few of those single serve cups of Frosted Flakes and Corn Pops. Usually I stash them in my room or in an out of the way corner of the pantry where my diabetic step-father won't see them and get all grumpy because he can't have any.

Lately though Richard, that's the diabetic step-father I mentioned, has been picking up those mini boxes of various cereals. Usually it's things like Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Honey Nut Cheerios and when I get bored with the Special K or the regular Cheerios I'll have one of those for a change of pace. Even though Cinnamon Toast Crunch does leave a nasty coating on your tongue :P I spotted the Trix sitting next to the other cereals and figured what the hell. I've never had Trix before, or if I did I couldn't remember what it tasted like. So I opened the two little boxes and poured them into an over sized coffee mug.

Whoa, dude, I thought, colors! They were some kind of promotional berry swirl Trix. Aqua blue swirled with a mellow purple and a highlighter yellow mingled with neon orange. It looked a bit like the 80's had thrown up in my cereal bowl. But more noticeable than the layers of vivid colors dancing against the stark whiteness of my cappuccino mug, was the instantly recognizable smell the moment I opened the package. It smelled like fruit snacks. Exactly like fruit snacks.

I was starting to wonder how this thing was going to taste, but I added milk anyway, figuring I might as well go ahead and find out. To be honest I just kinda stared at it for a while. The colors were so psychedelic I couldn't help wondering if someone could make an art project out of this cereal. Someone probably could.

I took a bite, convinced I was going to have a multi-colored bowel movement in the morning. Thankfully, it didn't taste nearly as much like fruit snacks as it smelled. I think the milk helped damp down the overly artificial fruit taste. Overall, I can't say that I enjoyed the taste of Trix, but it wasn't awful either. At least it didn't taste like a bowl of fruit snacks. That would have been really weird.

In conclusion I can only say that Trix was made to appeal to one specific group of people. Trust me when I tell you that it isn't kids.

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