Friday, June 11, 2010

Because I like taking things to the nth degree

And also because I didn't have anything in particular to write about today.

...and because I was having too much fun fooling around with the new blogger templates >.>

Ahem. Anyway, I received this email from a Concerned American (i.e. my father, who likes to constantly test my creative and intellectual abilities). Normally I would address such an important matter myself, but I was feeling kinda lazy so I let Timmy handle it instead. Hedgehogs are good PR managers.

Edited for spelling and punctuation.

Note: yes, of course this is entirely satirical. Don't get your panties in a twist.

CiaĆ³ Principessa,

While I love your Blog with its biting commentary, educational visual aids and general "American Can DO" spirit, I'm writing to you today as a concerned Patriotic and Proud American Movie Goer with one simple question: WHY is the cartoon given German captions? What is Minnie, if that IS her real name, doing instructing our Nazi enemies in life saving skills? What kind of turncoat is this rodent. Is her real name Axis Minnie or Munich Minnie or Minnie the Municher? Is she greasing with the blood of brave American Animators the wheels of the Axis in its role to world domination?

I'm not too surprised at whatever part Figaro, Der Furher Feline plays since cats are notoriously unfaithful, drawn to whomever has the most kibble, the biggest ball of yarn or the catnip with the biggest nip. I won't get into the Nips right now either, but I'm sure the Land of the Rising Sun also has been getting more than a little help from this sushi loving Siamese. How much plastic surgey did he get to make him look like round eyes so he could spy and blend in? A visit to Dr. Samurai and it's Kitty Time for Tojo! Just where was HE on December 7th? NO doubt with his furry little heinie in the air pointing toward the Arizona!

And Pluto, poor bastard. No doubt pulled from some stalag at gun point, forced to eat snitzengubenchow, and subjected to medical experimentation that makes your mind reel. He'll get the purple heart AND the medal of honor I swear and he will be avenged!

Concerned American

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Dear Sir,

Thank you for your interest in our blog! Customer satisfaction is our highest priority and we pride ourselves on responding promptly to all reader inquiries. According to Skeeve, our animation specialist, the cartoon to which you refer was subtitled in German by the person(s) who originally uploaded the video in order to circumvent copyright laws enforced by www.youtube.com Our specialist explains that doing so helps avoid detection by youtube and various copyright lawyers, resulting in the video remaining on the website longer before it is eventually detected and removed.

We have no reason to believe that Minnie Mouse or Figaro Kitten are in any way affiliated or otherwise connected with Nazi Germany. As we are sure you are aware, Mr. Figaro served proudly with our allies in WWII http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Figaro_(Disney)#WWII_Mascot and is a decorated veteran in both the U.K. and the United States.

We hope this has answered your question. If you have any further inquiries please do not hesitate to contact us at http://theblueselkie.blogspot.com/ Thank you again for your interest in our blog.

Mr. Timothy Hedgehog,
Customer Service
Travels Aboard The Blue Selkie

I think Timmy handled that rather well. He is a professional after all.

And no, I didn't know Figaro was a WWII mascot either. I just went to wikipedia to see if he has a last name. He doesn't, but I gave him one anyway.

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