Friday, December 31, 2010

Day One: LAX to SFX

Day One: LAX to SFX

Dec. 31 2010

12:30 pm

Timmy was disappointed to learn that a first class ticket does not automatically grant entry into United’s Red Carpet Club. I did my best to console him with a café mocha from Starbucks.

Meanwhile I have half an hour until my flight boards and I am considering getting a sandwich since Timmy and I were deprived of the snackey poos we were promised at the Red Carpet Club. I’ll probably pass on the off chance they might actually feed me in first class. Either way I’m sure I’ll be pouncing on Dad and demanding sushi as soon as we land.

Thankfully, I had no trouble with TSA in LAX. They didn’t even ask about my medication. Hopefully this trend continues for the rest of the trip. Everybody cross your fingers.

12:51 pm

Aaaaaaaand I just killed ten minutes cleaning up my desktop. I can actually see my background now! Still hungry though.

4:37 pm

Hotel restaurant needs to open nao! I WILL EAT ALL THE THINGS!

Oooo, Twilight Zone marathon…

6:59 pm

Uhhhhg. I ate ALL the things.

9:39 pm

Hotel bed is squishy ^.^

10:11 pm

Commercial for a new blood glucose meter from Medicare comes on TV and the announcer man says, "And the best part is you no longer have to prick your fingers."

ME: Well you have to prick something.

DAD: That's what she said.

12:00 am

Fireworks!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Omg, you guys...

I just saw Tron 2. I need a lightcycle right goddamn now.

Vrooom!

And the soundtrack was bitchin! See sample:


I fight for the users! Hell yeah!

Ok, that movie left me way more bouncy than I need to be right now. But it was really awesome. Srsly.

Yeah, you're right. I should probably go to bed now. Kay bye!

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Some observations

Dear City,

You know that stop sign over by Capitol and Gaffey? The one that's been run over, like, ten times now? Yeah, that one. What is the point of putting it in the middle of the intersection anyway? The plastic poles lined with reflective strips that surround it don't seem to protect it from getting run down every couple months.

How much does it cost you to replace that sign every time someone runs it over? I'm sorry, City. It just...it really doesn't seem worth it. Just thought I'd let you know.

Signed,

The resident college student who just doesn't get it.


Also, the new bathrooms in the university library are awesome. I swear the toilet seats are ergonomically designed to cradle your backside.

Thus ends today's random observations.

Christmas Update

Alright, Timmy, we've kept the people waiting long enough. It's time we explained just what the heck's going on in the next two weeks.



Yes, I know it's Christmas. So that means we have plenty of time to sit down and talk about Paris and--hey! Get your head out of that stocking! You can eat your Christmas chocolates later.

Don't give me that look...

Alright. So, long story short, Dad and Timmy and I are flying to Paris for about a week. Dad's been wanting to take me since forever. This will be my first time out of the country. Unless you want to count that one time I crossed the border into Canada for, like, five minutes. Timmy's very excited. Aren't you, Timmy?

Timmy?

Timmy! How many times do I have to tell you to lay off the cherry cordials? Now come back here, we're writing a blog post.

Where were we? Oh yes. Timmy and I will be flying up to San Francisco New Years Eve and then Dad and the two of us will fly from San Francisco to London on New Years day where I will get to spend one glorious hour in Heathrow airport jumping up and down and exclaiming, "OMG I'm in London! Eeeeeeee!"

After that it's a quick flight over the channel to Paris. Some of the highlights on this trip will be:

The Louvre (duh)
Musée d'Orsay
Musée de Cluny
Pére Lachaise Cemetery
Versailles (possibly)

I think Dad may have mentioned Montmartre as well and then of course there's the food, which I keep hearing is an attraction unto itself. Anyway, it should be lots of fun.

You all know how I am by now when it comes to updating the blog while on vacation. All I can say is I am bringing my computer and I will do my best. If nothing else I will try and post a picture every day to keep it exciting.

Timmy and I return to the states on January 10th and I get back home on the 11th. Then on the 12th my friends Scott and Eden and flying in from Canada for two weeks of fun and shenanigans. And, of course, Disneyland. They fly back to Canada right before I go back to school. January is going to be freaking awesome.

So that's my update and now you all know why I was freaking out at the amount of snow being dumped on Paris a couple weeks ago. Luckily, the snow has calmed down considerably so I should be able to deal with a reasonable amount by the time we get there. One of my Christmas presents from Mom was new soles for my boots so now I wont go slippy slidey on the wet streets of Paree. Hurrah!

Anyway, happy holidays, merry Christmas, and goodwill towards everyone and not just men. I leave you now with my Mom's new favorite Christmas song.


Merry Christmas, from Chiron Beta Prime.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

What is "term paper"?

KITTEH HAIKU   terribul battle  i fot fur hourz  what's a "term paper?"

Yeeeeah, things aren't quite that bad but I am wrapping up the rest of my finals this week. So as soon as those are over I will fill you guys in on Paris, my failed attempt at NaNoWriMo, and some random observations I've made over the past couple weeks.

Until next time.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Snoooooooooow

Too much snow! Do not want! D:


Oh yeah, I'm going to Paris. Did I mention that? More when I get home or find an outlet for the charger.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Thank you, Disney...

For crushing all my hopes and dreams. I think I might actually cry. And not in the good way.

At least Alan Menken did the music for Tangled. I still have some faith there even if Disney didn't let him do it in the style of a broadway musical. What's with you guys? Seriously?

*sigh* Maybe Disney's right and they're just adapting to change with the times. If that's true, the times fucking suck.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Paper is pwned!

Woohoo! I have survived my term paper! I worked on it all day yesterday starting around 10:00 am and managed to finish it by 1:00 am this morning. Should I have gotten some of that done a little earlier? Yes, yes I should have. Did I? Obviously, no. Is anyone surprised by this? Of course not.

Well, now that that's over with I can get back to my regular school schedule without any further delay.

Wait...I feel a disturbance in the force. As if a million voices cried out in ridicule and were suddenly overwhelmed with mocking laughter.

...it's November 1st, isn't it?

*sighs* Ok, fine. You want some of this? You want some of this?! *pulls on NaNoWriMo shirt* Let's DO this thing! Bring it, NaNoWriMo! I'm ready for you this time.

Photobucket

Let it Begiiiiiiiiiiin!

I'm crazy. Have we established that yet?

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Happy Samhain

That's Happy Halloween to most of you. This year I am celebrating by eating Count Chocula and finishing a term paper on race and gender relations in colonial North Carolina. Exciting, no? If I finish early there might be enough time to watch Young Frankenstein before I go to bed, which is usually how I spend my Halloween's anyway so the only thing that's really lost is the dressing up. Ah well, maybe I'll put on a tiara or something.

In the meantime I leave you with this most awesome sign language interpretation of the Johnathan Coulter song, "Re: Your Brains". Enjoy!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

100%, baby!

Hell yes! I am fucking informed, bitches. Of course, the quiz wasn't really that hard. Especially if you're a History major. Kinda makes me want to shake my head at the other 99% of the population. What's with you guys?

How much do you know about the world's major religions? Take the quiz and find out!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Update: It is indeed, "on"

Got to class early this morning in an attempt to avoid traffic due to the rain. A couple students were already there and a few more arrived shortly after. All of us waited outside to avoid another encounter with Dr. Nutter. At 9:50 one of us decided to brave the classroom and see if the desks were still in crop circles or back in their original rows.

Guess which one it was?

Go on, guess.

If you said crop circles, then you were right, and this time they were slightly more askew than before. Oh yeah, now they're fucking with us.

We continued to stand just outside the classroom until Dr. Awesome showed up scarcely a minute later. Dr. Awesome sighed and started to tell us to just sit in the damn circle until we realized that would make it difficult to take notes. So, like the well trained team we are, we quickly put the desks back in order. Seriously, we've gotten really good at that.

Dr. Awesome left, presumably to find whoever the hell was responsible but came back empty handed. While she was gone there was talk of sneaking in early and stacking the desks on top of each other once we found out just who was moving them around. But alas, as of right now we still have no leads.

Oh, and we found out that Dr. Nutter does indeed teach a Humanities course. We also found out that she is a lecturer, not a professor. Which might explain why she got so uppity with us for "ordering her around". I may just stop calling her Dr. Nutter and go with my dad's suggestion of Ms. Headupherass.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

So, uh...we may have started a war.

And by "we" I mean my entire Colonial History class. Whom we may have started a war with exactly requires a bit of explanation.

Our class meets at 10:00 am. As is often the case, there is another class that meets in the same classroom an hour before ours. For the past five weeks or so our class has come in at 9:45 to find the desks far removed from their original rows and strewn about the classroom in a misshapen circle, as if some kind of bizarre tribal council has taken place during one of the previous classes. Twice a week myself and a few other kind souls do our best to return the desks to their original positions before class starts. Every single week.

At first we asked our professor what was going on and she was equally confused. She told us she'd try and figure out who was in here before us and see if she could have a talk with the professor, but that of course led nowhere. So we just continued to come in every morning and drag the desks back into some kind of order.

All that changed yesterday morning when it started to rain. A handful of us were standing outside and darted in the moment the previous class let out. The classroom was a mess but, to our great surprise, the professor was still there! The few of us moved towards the areas where we usually sit, wondering if we should put the desks back or leave them as they were for our own professor to see firsthand. A few more students trickled in as the professor from the previous class continued to put her papers in order and this is when one of my braver classmates decided to speak up and finally address this issue. "Excuse me," she said politely, "could you ask your students to put the desks back at the end of class?"

And the professor fucking flipped.

"No," she said flatly. "My class shouldn't have to be subservient to any other class and I'm not going to move them because I have a broken ankle. Why should my class have to put the desks back when we're not not the ones moving them? "

"Wait, you mean your class isn't moving the desks...?"

"No! We just come in and find them like this every day! They were like this the first day we came in so I just have class like this. You're the ones moving them!"

Some other poor student decided to step in. "No, no, Ma'am. That's not us, our class has always been in rows. We thought maybe you were moving the--"

By this time the professor had gathered up her paperwork and was ready to leave. "Well it's not my class and we shouldn't have to be responsible for putting the desks back!" and this is where things got really crazy. The professor then stormed out of the room, came back in, and pointed angrily at the student who had tried to intercede, "And you shouldn't be ordering professors around! That's rude and it's no way to talk to a professor!"

The angry professor, who from this point on shall be known as Dr. Nutter, then fled the scene, leaving the rest of us totally speechless. Except for one student who piped up as Dr. Nutter left for the second time, "Uh, we pay you..." Unfortunately, she was too far gone into her mental breakdown to hear him.

One giant, collective thought bubble with the letters "WTF?" hovered above our heads. No one knew what had just hit us or what we had done to deserve it. The class started mumbling and shaking their heads as we worked together to put the desks back in order. We sat down, resolved to tell our professor, who shall be known as Dr. Awesome, all about the shit that had just went down.

Dr. Awesome came in a few minutes later and the student who had started this whole thing with a simple question was bouncing in her seat. "Boy, do we have a story to tell you." We quickly informed Dr. Awesome of everything that had happened, including the accusation of rudeness that had been hurled at our fellow classmate, and Dr. Awesome stared back at us with the same expression of "Oh my God, are you serious?" that we had been sporting only moments ago.

Dr. Awesome apologized for what had happened and told us that was no way for a professor to speak to a student. Someone managed to get Dr. Nutter's name from the previous class and Dr. Awesome tried looking her up on the faculty database. We described Dr. Nutter to her and told her again, in great detail, about everything that had happened. . Dr. Awesome was definitely not pleased. The History department is a very close knit group for a couple of different reasons. One is probably because you have to be at least a little bit crazy to be obsessed with old things and the other is that History is still very much an underappreciated discipline. So we look out for each other. You mess with one of us, you mess with all of us.

We also told Dr. Awesome that, according to Dr. Nutter, her class are not the ones moving the desks. And if that's the truth, then it has to be another class in the morning before Dr. Nutter's or one later in the day after ours. In any case, we somehow had to get in touch with the class that was moving the desks. So, at the end of class Dr. Awesome found a piece of chalk and wrote a note on the blackboard in very big, hard to miss letters:

10/4/10

Please return desks to original positions.
--Dr. Super Awesome
ex: 24601

She signed the note with her full name and extension number as if to say, "There, that ought to piss em off." Dr. Awesome apologized to us again because, since we had finally raised the issue, there was the high possibility of Dr. Nutter deciding to fuck with us in return. So it's possible that we may have just started a war with the Humanities department or whatever it is that Dr. Nutter teaches. I hear there's gonna be a rumble in the courtyard and if so, I absolutely refuse to participate without at least a 12 piece orchestra.

I may have an update tomorrow. Either way, I'll keep you posted.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Can I go home now?

I’m sitting in my Geography class right now (I’ve been here since 4 o’clock) and all I can think of is that if we, as a class, can manage to keep the professor talking for another hour and fifteen minutes then we can all go home.

Except that I agreed to meet with my group after class to discuss this mapping project that we need to complete for 20% of our grade. What did I do that for?

Monday, September 20, 2010

Other things that make me happy

So it's the fourth week of classes and so far I've done a pretty good job of focusing on school. Especially considering all the shit that went down during the first week. I'll fill you in briefly, otherwise we'll be here all day.

A couple weeks ago Richard's pancreas decided to go, "Grrrrr! I am an angry pancreas!" and essentially beat the shit out of his insides every time he tried to eat or drink anything. Even water. The paramedics came and took Richard to the hospital, but because Richard is basically the worst patient ever, he went AMA and came home thinking he was all better. This was the moment when his pancreas decided to go, "HAHA! Fooled you, sucka!" and the paramedics were called yet again. Fast forward to a different hospital with Richard actually behaving himself this time and his pancreas finally got a chance to rest for a few days and mellow the fuck out.

One thing that all that stress has made me realize is that we really ought to take a few minutes out of every day to think about the things that make us happy. And I mean really happy. Not just, oh isn't that nice happy, but big goofy grin happy. Things like this new blog I've discovered that makes me laugh so hard I actually start crying.



Or this picture of my best friend with a chicken on her head!


Or this epic music video by Ok Go.





Those are my big goofy grins for today. If you don't have any of your own yet, that's ok, you can share mine. Hopefully one of these has made you smile like an idiot :)

Friday, September 17, 2010

This is why I love John Stewart


I gotta admit, though, Stephen Colbert's pretty awesome too. John, I wish I could be there with you, man.


Oh, and here's Stephen's follow up. Cause you know there had to be one, right?

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Oh joy.

Our washing machine is broken. We were hoping that maybe it had just slipped its belt or something, but nope. The repairman confirmed for us this morning that our washer that we've had for 7-10 years now is unquestionably, officially, busted. So guess who's dragging her books and several pounds of laundry to the landromat this weekend? I don't even need to ask, do I?

Actually it's not that bad. Like I said before, it's often easier for me to study when I'm out of the house. So hopefully I can get all my reading done while the laundry's going and then come home and type up my homework when it's all done.

There need to be laundromats made especially for students. With desk lamps and comfortable chairs and access to the internet. If something like that doesn't exist already, it needs to be made. Like, now. I demand a fancy laundromat catering to homeless college students! Make it happen, people!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

I could have slept in, but noooooo.

Who's got two thumbs and didn't check her email this morning? This gal!

Ok, so that joke doesn't work as well over the internet, but the result is still the same. I got to my 10:00 am class this morning, on time no less, only to find that the class had been cancelled. Usually I check my school email in the mornings in the event that something like this should happen, but I had my computer packed away to take to school with me today and didn't check my email.

Not that it would have made a difference because, as it turns out, there was no email saying that the class was cancelled. Now that's just rude.

My next class doesn't start until four, which gives me six hours between now and then to decide if I want to go home and come back in the afternoon. Then again, I do tend to focus better at school. So I think I'll just stay here and finish my homework for the week.

Meanwhile Timmy is still at home tucked away all warm and cozy in bed. Lucky bastard.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Seriously, how do multiple child households do this?

Thanks to relatives moving in, I now share a bathroom with three other people. -_-

I don't know how mornings are going to work this semester. Maybe I'll just move in to Mom's bathroom.

Friday, August 27, 2010

This is so wrong...

Ok, so I already knew this short existed. That was bad enough. What's worse is that it was made with the cooperation of the Inglewood Police Department and the Inglewood Unified School District. Thanks again for setting the example, California!

Thankfully, Doug Walker from That Guy with the Glasses has alleviated some of the awfulness by riffing the hell out of this short film of paranoia brought to you by the 1950s. Still, while this short is now funny, I can't help sitting here and thinking through the laughter, "Gods, this is wrong. This is so, so wrong..."

Enjoy!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

I can has Italian bakery?

So there's this place in San Pedro that's had a coming soon sign outside for like, three years now. And now, finally, they are open. Behold the wonder and the glory that is Amalfitano's Bakery.

droooooool.

And yes, that picture was taken on my bed because I am greedy and locked myself in my room with one of everything so I wouldn't have to share with anyone. Well, except Timmy. I can honestly say that is the best cannoli I have ever eaten. And this is coming from someone who, while undeniably Italian, usually has two bites of a cannoli and then doesn't want any more for the rest of the year. That cannoli was goooood. The cookies were excellent and the cream puff's custard filling was outstanding. My own mother assured me that these delicious baked goods were the most authentic she's ever tasted. Now all that's left is to get my Sicilian father down here to verify. What do you say, Dad?

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Sandwiches, sandwiches, barely even human...

Photo: Brian Leatart

Am I the only one who thought this was some kind of weird meat sammich? Cause it's not. It's actually some kind of weird ice cream sammich from some place in LA called Cool Haus. Found it here: http://travel.yahoo.com/p-interests-35264484

Tomorrow I get to drive my grandparents up to Sherman Oaks for my aunt's birthday party. Wish me luck. I'm driving my grandfather's Volvo and it's oooooooooold.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

The semester line up

HIS 330 US Colonial Period
GEO 100 Human Geography
GEO 360 North America
PHI 383 Comparative Religions
POL 361 American Constitutional Law: Civil Rights

Gosh, I can feel the excitement already.

I'm still wary about that last class as it's supposed to be writing intensive. I wanted to take American Political Thought but that class conflicts with GEO 360, which I have to take to satisfy the history major and is only being offered every other fall. I may squeeze in an English class if I decide to drop the poly sci this semester and take the one I want in the Spring. Except that all the English classes are at night.

Why the feck is everything at night this semester?!? GAH!

Oh, and God's stealing my computer for a couple days because the PC she's been using has decided it doesn't want to run Microsoft Office anymore. See you guys in a couple days.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Well that was weird

My cat does not like other cats, but apparently other cats like him.

Oberon is an indoor/outdoor cat in that he usually spends his days lounging in the neighbor's garden and his nights snuggled up on my pillow. I've never seen him make nice with another cat and he'll rarely allow anyone besides me and my mom to touch him. He'll tolerate Patches, the neighbor's cat, being in the same general area so long as they're outside but I've never seen him snuggle up to another cat since he was a wee kitten.

So it was really weird to walk outside and see an orange and white tom cat trying to make friends with Obie, who was having none of it. Though "huddled under the porch table in an indignant and confused ball" would be a more accurate description.

I think the fact that the cat was a tom surprised me more than anything else. How many friendly tom cats do you run into on a regular basis? And for that matter, how many people do you know who own an un-neutered male cat? He must have belonged to somebody because he was super friendly and was kind of shocked when I hissed at him to get him to back away from Obie.

I have no idea where he came from. He seemed like a nice enough chap but I told him that he wasn't getting any food under any circumstances. We just can't take in any more cats, not that Obie would let me if I tried. Hopefully he does belong to someone and is just having a look around the neighborhood and is not the new tom in town searching out his niche. In any case, Oberon is now spread out on my pillow like a black puddle, perfectly content to be the only cat of any importance in the house.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

It was all a dream. And you were there...and you were there...and you...

Timmy really liked Inception. He just thought you all might like to know. In case you were on the fence about seeing it or something.

We cooked a bunch of things yesterday and today but I only got pictures of part of the process. I'll probably post those when I get home cause I'm too lazy to get my camera out right now. Tomorrow we're driving out to Gilroy to finish up my back to school shopping. It's about a 90 minute drive so odds are I'll be sleeping part of the way.

That's about all I've got to report for now, so I'll be off.

Remember to go see Inception, though. It was a damn good movie.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Dad's creepy night light

Today Dad and I went to the outlet mall in Vacaville for some back to school shopping. Timmy, of course, was in attendance and offered fashion advice when needed.

Vacaville means "Coo-beastie town" in Spanish!

I got a couple good cardigans and some comfy long sleeved shirts that will be good for fall and winter. I still need to pick up another pair of jeans, a new pair of sneakers, and some socks. If I find a new zip up hoodie that I actually like on top of all that I'll be really lucky.

We grabbed In-N-Out for lunch and headed back to the house to snack on jelly beans and watch Zorro the Gay Blade. Afterwards we drove down the hill and had sushi for dinner. I think tomorrow Dad and I are going to do some cooking for his office meeting/unit party thing on Wednesday.

On another note, I realized as I was starting to fall asleep last night that Dad's alarm clock has this creepy light feature that projects the time in big red letters onto the ceiling. I tried taking a picture but you can only see it when all the lights are off and the only thing you'd see is red numbers on a black background anyway. It doesn't quite capture the creepy/weird effect of seeing it on the ceiling. In any case, I now have Birdhouse In Your Soul stuck in my head. Hit it, John! Er, and John.


By the way, have any of you seen Cupcake Wars yet? That shit is intense! And the judges are all dicks! Jesus Christ, people, they're only cupcakes!

Aaaaand now of course I want a cupcake. Stupid food network.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Gru :D

O hai.

So I got into Oakland today at about 2:30. Dad picked me up and we went to Daphne's for gyros--nom! Then we walked over to the movie theatre and saw Despicable Me. Timmy liked the minions a lot. Gru is freaking adorable :D I want to bundle him up and take him home. Maybe I will crochet a Gru scarf for myself this winter. I can creep around pretending to steal giant monuments ^.^

Seriously though, Despicable Me was a really good film. The story is good, the animation is great (a lot of French people worked on this film, incidentally), and the minions are hilarious. If you get the chance, definitely go see it.

Now I'm back at Dad's place watching old Bugs Bunny cartoons. I never realized before how many drugs Bugs can knock back in the space of one cartoon o.O

Also, Dad found a website where people post pictures of their airline meals and rate the quality of the food. That just sounds like something my dad would do, doesn't it?

Going to San Francisco for a week

Dear Mom,

Please take care of my cat while I'm gone. Tell him he is a pretty cat. And a good cat. Tell him I haven't abandoned him and I'll be back soon.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

This just in from San Diego Comic-Con

Guillermo del Toro to direct new 'Haunted Mansion' (AP)

Cooooooool.

Can't wait to see what Del Toro comes up with. Click the link for the full story.

Friday, July 16, 2010

The hell, you say?

Ok, so in case you haven't seen the Associated Press article yet (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_web_i_write_like), there's this website called I Write Like that's becoming increasingly popular. All you have to do is copy and paste a few paragraphs of your writing into the text box and the website will analyze your writing style, mostly based on word choice according to the AP article. I decided to play around with this a bit to see if my given writing style varies depending on genre/subject matter. Here are the results.

A selection of my 2008 NaNoWriMo novel, which I've been working on recently:

I write like
James Joyce

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!


Apparently I'm a chip off the old block despite not having read anything by James Joyce. Bad, English major, bad! *slaps wrist* Anyone have any suggestions?

(edit: 11:39 pm) I pasted the first few paragraphs of the same novel, which I haven't touched since 2008, to see if I'd get a different result and got J.D. Salinger. That's kinda cool.


A fantasy novel I have sworn to finish one day and haven't worked on since I was in high school:

I write like
Stephenie Meyer

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!


In my defense, I did write it when I was in high school and I left all the formatting mistakes (paragraph wise) intact. For authenticity. All this says, really, is that Stephanie Meyer apparently writes like a shy, nerdy, 16 year old. I think I can hear Scott laughing at me all the way from Canada.


And finally, a blog post. Specifically, the one about Trix:

I write like
Stephen King

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!


I haven't read anything by Stephen King, either. Amazing how I write like all these authors I've never read.

Who do you write like? Share it in the comments!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Just because it's true doesn't mean I have to like it.

Skeeve sent me a link to this a little while ago

Funny celebrity photos - J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter
see more Lol Celebs

That's right, internet, rub it in why don't you.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Happy Birthday, Skeeve!

Today Skeeve turns 25 years old, which means that in exactly one week I will be 24. And that's just weird.


I have known this woman for 13 years. 13 freaking years! That's longer than most marriages last these days. Now I don't want to get all mushy and stuff, but I do want to take a moment to just say thanks. Cause if I'd never met you, Skeeve, I wouldn't have had half the adventures that I've had since we met when we were 11 and 12 years old. Thanks for making my life more awesome. And have a fantabulous birthday! :D

Today is a great day for justice

For I...have conquered the granny square.


Apparently my great grandmother's mad crochet skillz are hereditary. Anyone care to guess what you're all getting for Christmas? If you said blankets, you guessed right.

Welp, back to the granny squares. I've only got about a bajillion of these to go before December.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Omg, best ice cream flavor ever!

The carton says "Brownie ChewGooder", in case you can't read backwards. Seriously, though, this is one of the best ice cream flavors I've ever tasted. The brownies are gooey and delicious and just rich enough to take the edge off the sweetness of the vanilla ice cream and caramel swirls. I had to stop and tell the world

Ok, that's it. Now stop staring at me so I can finish this carton without the added guilt of witnesses.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

4th of July Live from My Bedroom

8:12 pm Both cats are inside and have so far managed not to kill each other. Lights are dimmed and new age music is on. Minor complaints in the form of vocalizations from Oberon.

8:14 pm Pearl is hogging the bed.

8:16 pm About 30 minutes let until blueberry pie is done. Woo!

8:21 pm Obie is a bit chatty but I'm appeasing him with petting. Engaging Doctor Who.

8:32 pm I think I just heard the first fireworks.

8:40 pm I <3 David Tennant.

9:04 pm Just took the blueberry pie out of the oven and put the brownies in. Feline truce is still in effect.

9:09 pm The big booms are starting now. Obie is calm but not pleased. Pearl sleeps on, oblivious.

9:49 pm So far the cats have done a really good job of ignoring each other.

10:18 pm Oh. Nevermind.

10:42 pm I have one cat curled up by my chest and another draped over my legs. I wonder if this is how crazy cat ladies feel.

11:05 pm Ok, Obie has realized that he and Pearl are sharing a bed and he's not happy about it.

11:53 pm Aaaaaaand Pearl has officially left (i.e. been evicted from) the bedroom. After trying to steal Obie's dinner. There's still a few fireworks going off here and there but otherwise it's mostly quiet so she ought to be fine. I doubt she's going outside any time soon. In the mean time I'm going to keep Obie inside as long as possible, though he'll probably insist on going out in a few hours. It ought to be safe by then.

Well, it's about five til midnight and I am officially concluding Catwatch 2010. Hope you all had as much fun as I did. I'm gonna go eat some blueberry pie!

Happy Birthday, Alicia!


I don't have a more recent picture, so here's one from a few years ago. Gods, I can't believe that was Evan's first RenFaire. I'm getting old :P

Sorry, what was that? What do you mean "is there anything else I'd like to add"? Today is Alicia's birthday, what else could there--

Oh.
Right.

*sigh* Happy National Blow Shit Up Day, everyone. Or as you normal people call it, Independence Day, 4th of July, whatever. I hate this fecking holiday.

Now, before the thought police cart me away, allow me to make it clear that I don't hate America. Or the fact that we have a special day on which we celebrate America's birthday. I've got no problem with that. My problem is with the idiots who set themselves on fire every year and fill the air with enough smog and sulfur to choke a herd of elephants.

Every 4th of July I sit inside, lights low, quiet music playing, and try to amuse myself whilst making sure that the animals are all safe and comfortable so they don't go ballistic at the sound of....well, ballistics. Broadly speaking, this holiday sucks. For pet owners, for environmentalists, and for the firemen that have to go and save your stupid ass when you set your apartment on fire trying to launch rockets from your roof.

Please. Leave the fireworks to the professionals. It's what Sam the Eagle would do.


And now that I've finished my safety/anti-stupid PSA, I am announcing a live blog (well, sort of) of tonight's events. I will be sitting locked in my room with two cats who hate each other, trying to make sure that both are safe and calm while I watch reruns of something British. Probably Doctor Who. Hey, you celebrate America's independence in your way and I'll celebrate it in mine. By recognizing the fact that 234 years ago we all used to be British.

Cheerio then.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Ahhhh! Oh God, where the hell have you been??

Uh, hi, guys. Apparently I suck at updating, even during the summer. Sorry.

It started with this series of books I was finishing. I was down to the last two and really wanted to finish both of them before I got back to blogging. Then when I finally did finish them...well, you know how when you've been absorbed in a book for a while it's kinda hard to separate yourself from that book once you've finished it? It's like your brain needs an adjustment period before you can step back into reality. Yeah, I know, it's just me and I should probably be on some kind of medication for that. But basically that's what happened. Not dead, not kidnapped by trolls, not being held hostage for drug money, just...me being a total and complete geek. Yep, that's me. Sorry.

Since I've already missed about a week, I feel I should give fair warning that I may be a little AWOL for the next few days as I attempt to tweak and edit my 2009 NaNoWriMo novel for the free print copy that I won this year. It won't be finished, in fact it's barely half done, but I figure I may as well edit what I have since I went ahead and got the unfinished print copy of my NaNo novel from 2008. That way they can be friends.

In the meantime, here are some glamour shots of Pearl. I swear she is the easiest cat in the world to photograph.




Until next time.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Gotta love the '50s

Skeeve sent me this just now and since I haven't posted anything for today, you all get to stare at it with me. I never know whether to laugh or throw up when I read these sort of things. Here's a link to the original photo Skeeve sent me. I've taken the liberty of transcribing it below. My thoughts are in italics surrounded by parentheses.


The good wife's guide
Housekeeping Monthly, 13 May 1955

  • Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him (and his life-threatening peanut allergy) and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home (Because they're too stupid to eat unless their wife tells them to) and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
  • Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking (If you don't look perfect all the time then he'll know your entire marriage is a lie!). He has just been with a lot of work-weary people
  • Be a little gay (Ask him if Gary in advertising is still being obsessing over Judy Garland) and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. (That's why Suzanne majored in fire-eating!)
  • Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. (You don't want the house to look lived in)
  • Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
  • Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. (Because you're not smart enough to pursue your own personal fulfillment)
  • Prepare the children. (They've been training for this moment for months!) Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them palying the art. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
  • Be happy to see him. (Even though the sight of him makes you seethe with resentment and bitterness)
  • Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. (Those drama lessons sure were helpful)
  • Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first--remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours. (In fact, never have a thought or opinion of your own. It's just bad manners)
  • Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. (Take solace in your collection of poems by Anne Sexton) Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
  • Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
  • Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
  • Don't complain if he's late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. (Once he tells you about the Davison portfolio falling through, the hookers will seem totally justified)
  • Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. (Preferably spiked with arsenic)
  • Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. (So he won't suspect it when you kill him)
  • Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgement or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. (Who are we kidding? You don't have any rights.)
  • A good wife always knows her place. (And it sure as hell isn't here)
I think we need a little something to lighten the mood after that.


Ahhhhh, there we go. All better :D

Sunday, June 20, 2010

In honor of Fathers' Day

It's weird how we remember things. How do our brains decide which memories to store and which to move to the trash file to make room for new data? Why, for example, is it more important that I remember my dad making me blood orange juice for breakfast when I was six than how to find the hypotenuse of a right triangle? I dunno. All I know is that I have some vivid, seemingly inconsequential memories surrounding my dad and the things we used to do when I was a kid. So, in honor of Fathers’ Day, here they are.

Yes, indeed, my dad used to make me fresh squeezed orange juice from Sicilian blood oranges. But that wasn’t the end of it. He also told me weird stories about how Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, and Scotty had to beam down to some alien planet to get said oranges. Don’t ask. Just smile and nod and drink your juice, that’s what I did. My dad also made me scrambled eggs in every color of the rainbow after I became obsessed with Green Eggs and Ham. Scrambled eggs were the first thing he taught me how to cook and I could make them all by myself by the time I was five or six. Of course you can’t have scrambled eggs without toast, so my dad would make toast and then use various cookie cutters to make all sorts of different shapes and sizes. I had rocking horse toast a lot.

Both of my parents love language and were eager to feed my rapidly growing mind with a wealth of vocabulary, but it was my Dad who witnessed my first word when I was six months old and convinced my mom that I knew what the hell I was talking about. Now, obviously I don’t actually remember the moment I said my first word. I was six months old. I’m willing to bet I was more interested in wondering when my next meal was coming than the nuances of memory retention. My first word was "kitty cat". Pretty complex for a six month old, even if it did come out sounding more like “key cat”. But the point was that I connected the word to the thing and it wasn’t until we were in a restaurant and my mom saw me staring at a picture of a black cat on the wall and exclaiming “Key cat! Key cat!” that she realized my father wasn’t crazy.

Like most parents, my dad told me bedtime stories. But if you’ve been paying attention so far, you know that they couldn’t possibly be the same fairy tales that every other kid got. The one I heard most often was “Ronnie, Sununu, and Quayle”—a parody of “The Three Little Pigs”. Nancy Reagan was The Big Bad Wolf. But instead of trying to eat all the pigs she blew down their houses because she wanted to have a look at their china pattern. As you can imagine, I had no chance of growing up in a politically neutral household. Add that to the fact that my dad introduced me to both Mel Brooks and Monty Python at a very young age and I didn’t have a chance.

The first Mel Brooks movie I saw was Young Frankenstein and it was from there that my young brain learned the concept of quoting movie lines in everyday conversation. My mom and dad were in the kitchen one day putting away groceries and getting dinner started. Dad was on the floor putting away sodas while mom was doing something in one of the cupboards. Intending to help, I walked up to my dad and asked, “Need a hand?” whereby my father and I looked at each other in a moment of mutual inspiration and declared, “No thanks—got one!" My mom slowly turned around, staring down at us with a look of abject horror on her face as if to say, “Aw, hell. Now there are two of them.”

This may surprise people, but I was somewhat reluctant to learn how to read. My mother used to be an actress, you see, and she read to me so well that I didn’t really see any reason why I should bother to learn. She made me practice anyway, much to my chagrin, and promised me that the more I learned the more I wouldn’t be able to help reading. Every letter had a sound and every word had a meaning and there would come a time when I wouldn’t be able to look at a word without reading it. Turns out the bitch was right.

The part my dad played in all this was less active but no less involved. He went crazy on Microsoft word one day and printed out labels, which he then taped to nearly every object in the house so that whenever I walked by something I could see the word for it in bold block print. Kitchen, door, stove, microwave, window, bookshelf, table—everything in the house had a label. He would have taped a label to the cat if we had one when I was four.

My dad also taught me big words like actually and rhetorical and I was using them correctly when I was five years old. I think he knew for sure by then that I was way ahead of most of my peers.

Of course I’m sure it helped that I was taken on a lot of intellectual outings as a kid. One of my favourite excursions was the Getty Museum, back in the day when there was only one of them. I’m not sure how much history I actually picked up there, but I did learn two very important things: 1) How to behave in a museum and 2) How to enjoy museums. I don’t know how my parents managed it, if I just had a laid back temperament or if my parents were more interested in my enjoyment than they were in theirs. Whichever it was, I discovered that I liked looking at old stuff and thinking about how people lived a very long time ago. You can probably blame both parents for my double major in English and History.

One thing my dad still goes nuts over is Christmas. When I was a kid he would hang garland wrapped with these round frosted red and white lights that looked like berries all over the house. I really miss those lights. I can’t find anything else like them. I still have a strand of the white ones on which only one half of the lights work, but you’ll never get me to throw it away.

One year Dad brought home some clay and acrylic paints and we made our own ornaments using Christmas cookie cutters. We did a bunch of stars and tiny reindeer with different colored saddles. I also made a couple ornaments that weren’t Christmas themed, like a giant chocolate ice cream cone. Dad taught me how to use a toothpick to make a waffle cone texture in the clay and we baked them all in the oven after poking a hole in the top for the hooks to go through. Mom still has those and every year they go up on the tree.

The first Christmas song I ever learned was “Santa Clause is Coming to Town." I used to sing it a lot with my grandfather, who would stop at the end of every refrain for my solo, which consisted of an exuberant, “Tooooo tooooown!" I liked it so much that my dad arranged a jazzy version of the song for the piano and played it for me almost every day in December. My dad also taught me more obscure Christmas songs, songs that most kids my age probably didn’t know. One of those was “Christmas is Coming” and it was my second favorite song after Santa Clause.

I don’t know why I’ve remembered all this stuff, but I’m kind of glad that my brain saved these random bits of childhood for me to look back on. So I guess what I’m trying to say is, thanks for all the random bits of childhood, Dad. And...you know, all the other stuff you do on a regular basis. Happy Fathers’ Day.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Obie finally ate something!

So I know that's not exactly newsworthy to most people, but my cat's been driving me crazy for the past few weeks refusing just about everything I put in front of him. I picked up some glucosamine treats a few days ago for his little kitty joints and he scarfed those down right quick, so I knew he wasn't sick or anything, just being an entitled pain in the ass. You know, like most cats.

I wasn't too worried about him getting food because I know for a fact that he hunts his own game. The old boy is 13 years old and an experienced hunter. In fact, he was yowling his head off just yesterday because he needed to show off the mousie he caught as he was eating it :P He's brought home birds, mice, rats--big rats, and...scary looking...rodent....things that I'm really not sure what they were. In any case, he wasn't acting sickly, just stubborn. So I was more annoyed than worried.

Then finally tonight he ate the entire can of shredded food that I put down for him. Now hopefully he'll sleep through the night and won't wake me up and 2:00 am because he's feeling peckish and needs to go out and kill himself some breakfast. Crotchety old man...

Friday, June 18, 2010

Suddenly, second graders! Thousands of them!

I'm running on about three hours sleep right now.

I knew I'd have to be up before seven this morning, but I really wanted to finish the book I was reading last night. So I finally got to the end at about 1:00 am, which meant I'd get roughly five hours of sleep. Not great, but not awful. Then I went out to the kitchen to get a glass of water and wound up talking to my mom, who was also awake for some reason, for another hour. By the time I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and actually got into bed it was 3:00 am. Mom woke me up this morning at 6:30 -_-

I spent a full day (plus two and a half hours after school) helping kids type Fathers' Day letters, packing away crayons for the summer, and helping Mom fill out her cumulative reports. That's new school talk for updating students' permanent records.

And what do I have to show for it? Bruises all over my legs from bumping into cold, unforgiving, institutional student chairs and desks that only come up to my knees. It's not quite as bad as it sounds considering I inherited my mother's thin skin. Everything shows up no matter how miniscule. I'll get a bruise if I bump into a mattress the wrong way.

I'm gonna go now cause the computer screen is starting to look kinda fuzzy. Time for all good house elves to go beddy bye. Nini.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Yeah, yeah, I know

I missed another day :P I had to get up at an ungodly 5:45 am this morning to accompany my mom to school and help her clean out her classroom for the summer. I fell asleep last night before I could write up a post.

Tomorrow is the last day of school, for the students at least. The parents are organizing a party, which means I get free lunch tomorrow--woohoo! We have to have the room in order by Monday. I know Mom will be giving away a bunch of books and throwing out other things she hasn't used in the past five years. I should probably make some kind of resolution once I become a teacher to go through all my junk every five years and give away anything I haven't used. Sounds good to me.

I came across this Monty Python skit that I don't recall ever seeing before. Check out John Cleese in a tight shirt and short pants. Hot damn!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

What I would give for a cookie and a shower...

Yup, still reading. There were more books in the series than I thought. Well, not really. I knew all this other stuff was supposed to happen before I picked up the latest book, but I couldn't remember the titles of the ones I was missing. Looked at the inside cover and sure enough there were the two I'd forgotten about. So I just started re-reading one book, I've got two more after that, and then I'll be able to start the newest book that I have yet to touch. Yup. Reading is good. I'm knocking out about one a day so at this pace I should be up to date with the series by the end of the week. Depending on how much help God needs packing up her classroom for the summer.

Not much else happening around here. Right now I'm waiting for everyone to go to sleep so I can take a shower in silence. Don't ask me why they're watching loud movies at five til' midnight. I don't know either.

I'm also getting random cookie cravings. Anyone wanna come over and bake me some cookies? Rob will lick the bowl so you don't have to worry about cleanup! Or better yet, how bout we go out for pizookies? I think I'll skip the orange cream soda this time. God damn, that was a lot of sugar in one sitting.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Aw, hell

I missed a day. How did that happen?

I guess that's what happens when you're busy reading. I've only got about three more books to go until I'm caught up with the series. Give me a break, I haven't had the time to read anything but textbooks all semester.

More to report later after I have finished my current book.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Ohai

Can't talk now. Readin' my book. Trying to get to the end of the series by the end of next week.

Tomorrow I'm going for walkies even if it kills me.

That's all for now. Check in tomorrow to see if I've survived.


Friday, June 11, 2010

Because I like taking things to the nth degree

And also because I didn't have anything in particular to write about today.

...and because I was having too much fun fooling around with the new blogger templates >.>

Ahem. Anyway, I received this email from a Concerned American (i.e. my father, who likes to constantly test my creative and intellectual abilities). Normally I would address such an important matter myself, but I was feeling kinda lazy so I let Timmy handle it instead. Hedgehogs are good PR managers.

Edited for spelling and punctuation.

Note: yes, of course this is entirely satirical. Don't get your panties in a twist.

Ciaó Principessa,

While I love your Blog with its biting commentary, educational visual aids and general "American Can DO" spirit, I'm writing to you today as a concerned Patriotic and Proud American Movie Goer with one simple question: WHY is the cartoon given German captions? What is Minnie, if that IS her real name, doing instructing our Nazi enemies in life saving skills? What kind of turncoat is this rodent. Is her real name Axis Minnie or Munich Minnie or Minnie the Municher? Is she greasing with the blood of brave American Animators the wheels of the Axis in its role to world domination?

I'm not too surprised at whatever part Figaro, Der Furher Feline plays since cats are notoriously unfaithful, drawn to whomever has the most kibble, the biggest ball of yarn or the catnip with the biggest nip. I won't get into the Nips right now either, but I'm sure the Land of the Rising Sun also has been getting more than a little help from this sushi loving Siamese. How much plastic surgey did he get to make him look like round eyes so he could spy and blend in? A visit to Dr. Samurai and it's Kitty Time for Tojo! Just where was HE on December 7th? NO doubt with his furry little heinie in the air pointing toward the Arizona!

And Pluto, poor bastard. No doubt pulled from some stalag at gun point, forced to eat snitzengubenchow, and subjected to medical experimentation that makes your mind reel. He'll get the purple heart AND the medal of honor I swear and he will be avenged!

Concerned American

-------------------------------------

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your interest in our blog! Customer satisfaction is our highest priority and we pride ourselves on responding promptly to all reader inquiries. According to Skeeve, our animation specialist, the cartoon to which you refer was subtitled in German by the person(s) who originally uploaded the video in order to circumvent copyright laws enforced by www.youtube.com Our specialist explains that doing so helps avoid detection by youtube and various copyright lawyers, resulting in the video remaining on the website longer before it is eventually detected and removed.

We have no reason to believe that Minnie Mouse or Figaro Kitten are in any way affiliated or otherwise connected with Nazi Germany. As we are sure you are aware, Mr. Figaro served proudly with our allies in WWII http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Figaro_(Disney)#WWII_Mascot and is a decorated veteran in both the U.K. and the United States.

We hope this has answered your question. If you have any further inquiries please do not hesitate to contact us at http://theblueselkie.blogspot.com/ Thank you again for your interest in our blog.

Mr. Timothy Hedgehog,
Customer Service
Travels Aboard The Blue Selkie

I think Timmy handled that rather well. He is a professional after all.

And no, I didn't know Figaro was a WWII mascot either. I just went to wikipedia to see if he has a last name. He doesn't, but I gave him one anyway.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

This is why it pays to have friends who are animation geeks

A couple days ago I posted a photo I took of a drawing I found of Pluto being bandaged up by Minnie Mouse. As I'm sure you all remember, I found it oddly disturbing at the time and couldn't figure out why Minnie appeared to be so cheerful about something that was obviously causing Pluto a lot of discomfort. Well, that's why I have Skeeve.

My friend Skeeve, Wolfidy here on Blogger, pointed out that the drawing was actually a reference to a Disney cartoon called "First-Aiders" made in 1944. She even provided a link to the cartoon on youtube. After watching it again I can actually say that I vaguely remember the damn thing! So here's the cartoon in all it's classic technicolor glory for all to see.


I always felt kinda bad for Figaro. It's because of him we have the rumor that Walt Disney hated cats.